InQuisition
Letters to the Editors
SPECIAL DELIVERY
So it's two in the morning and I'm reading the mail. Elvis is on the
stereo, and Cow Nose - the 50 lb. cat - is on my lap. "Hey, Cow Nose,"
I say. "Listen to this. Ben Sperling of Nineveh, N.Y., wants to know how
to get his letter printed. Geez, all you gotta do is write legibly and have
something semi-intelligent to say. There's nothin' to it. Right, Cow
Nose?" Cow Nose responds by barfing up a hairball.
Turns out, it's not a hairball after all, but this month's first letter, which
Cow Nose accidentally ate. It's a response to issue #14, where we said, "We
make it a point to write the way we talk..."
She Hates Us - Sob!
Regarding your comment in InQuest #14's
"InQuisition," do you actually mean you
speak like that in reality? I had assumed that
the tone of your magazine was an affectation
meant to appeal to inexperienced adoles-
cents or regressed adults. I had assumed that
your staff had a certain level of intelligence.
But such a limited and base vocabulary indi-
cates arrested development. I shall continue
to follow your publication in the hopes that
you will forego the profanity.
Letters to the Editors
SPECIAL DELIVERY
So it's two in the morning and I'm reading the mail. Elvis is on the
stereo, and Cow Nose - the 50 lb. cat - is on my lap. "Hey, Cow Nose,"
I say. "Listen to this. Ben Sperling of Nineveh, N.Y., wants to know how
to get his letter printed. Geez, all you gotta do is write legibly and have
something semi-intelligent to say. There's nothin' to it. Right, Cow
Nose?" Cow Nose responds by barfing up a hairball.
Turns out, it's not a hairball after all, but this month's first letter, which
Cow Nose accidentally ate. It's a response to issue #14, where we said, "We
make it a point to write the way we talk..."
She Hates Us - Sob!
Regarding your comment in InQuest #14's
"InQuisition," do you actually mean you
speak like that in reality? I had assumed that
the tone of your magazine was an affectation
meant to appeal to inexperienced adoles-
cents or regressed adults. I had assumed that
your staff had a certain level of intelligence.
But such a limited and base vocabulary indi-
cates arrested development. I shall continue
to follow your publication in the hopes that
you will forego the profanity.
Though somewhat snide and argumen-
tative in tone, you do seem to value hon-
esty. This is not meant as an attack, but as
constructive criticism. Do try to raise yourself
out of the gutter, gentlemen. There are intel-
ligent and well rounded people out here
who appreciate CCGs.
Lee Anne Rogers
Kelowna, BC, Canada
Er, I don't suppose we could interest you in
a subscription?
He Loves Us - Yay!
I have been reading your magazine for about
a year, and I have enjoyed it immensely. Every
time I buy an issue, I read it from cover to
cover immediately. All those people who are
complaining about the use of profanity should
just learn to live with it and not get insulted
by every little thing. If you take out the humor,
you take out all of the enjoyable parts of the
Magazine. InQuest is not supposed to be like
The Wall Street Journal.
Ian M. Brown
Leverett, MA
tative in tone, you do seem to value hon-
esty. This is not meant as an attack, but as
constructive criticism. Do try to raise yourself
out of the gutter, gentlemen. There are intel-
ligent and well rounded people out here
who appreciate CCGs.
Lee Anne Rogers
Kelowna, BC, Canada
Er, I don't suppose we could interest you in
a subscription?
He Loves Us - Yay!
I have been reading your magazine for about
a year, and I have enjoyed it immensely. Every
time I buy an issue, I read it from cover to
cover immediately. All those people who are
complaining about the use of profanity should
just learn to live with it and not get insulted
by every little thing. If you take out the humor,
you take out all of the enjoyable parts of the
Magazine. InQuest is not supposed to be like
The Wall Street Journal.
Ian M. Brown
Leverett, MA
That's right. I mean, you could look through the
last 10 year'' worth of The Wall Street Journal and
not find a single word about Dingus Eggs.
Secret of the Spinner
I got a crazy little Magic spinner in InQuest
#13. What in the world is it for? I searched
through the mag and didn't find one men-
tion of it anywhere.
Kyle Goodwin
Cyberspace
Use it to keep track of your life points. You can
also use it to keep track of how many centuries
you'll be burning in hell for playing CCGs.
Hands Off My Gauntlet
I love your magazine! It's great! It's stupen-
dous! It's excellent! It's every praise word in
the English language! I've searched for price
listings for Magic: The Gathering everywhere on
the Internet. You guys answered my prayers.
You not only have price listings, but you also
have the description for each card! Yes!
On to some questions:
last 10 year'' worth of The Wall Street Journal and
not find a single word about Dingus Eggs.
Secret of the Spinner
I got a crazy little Magic spinner in InQuest
#13. What in the world is it for? I searched
through the mag and didn't find one men-
tion of it anywhere.
Kyle Goodwin
Cyberspace
Use it to keep track of your life points. You can
also use it to keep track of how many centuries
you'll be burning in hell for playing CCGs.
Hands Off My Gauntlet
I love your magazine! It's great! It's stupen-
dous! It's excellent! It's every praise word in
the English language! I've searched for price
listings for Magic: The Gathering everywhere on
the Internet. You guys answered my prayers.
You not only have price listings, but you also
have the description for each card! Yes!
On to some questions:
1. Are you guys going to review
XXXenophile when it comes out?
2. Is there a Magic: The Gathering movie
on the way?
3. Do you know the story around the
Magic computer game?
4. Will Rick Swan sell me that beat-up
Gauntlet of Might he was mourning about
in issue #5's "Swan Song"?
5. Are you guys the perfect human spec-
imens on the planet?
John Baird
Hubbardston, MA
1. Only if our moms will let us.
2. Not likely. Although it would be kinda cool
to see Tom Cruise in a Jester's Cap.
3. I called Kathy Sanguinetti, Microprose's
public relations manager, who explained why it's
been held up. "First, it was originally a DOS game.
Now it's Windows 95. Second, we added a new
element, a strategic-adventure setting by Sid
Meier [the guy behind the Civilization computer
game]. That took some time." Since Microprose
had it scheduled for a late summer release (though
we've heard that before), it ought to be avail-
able any day now. If not... well it's on the way.
For more info, check out the news story in "IQ
News" starting on page 15.
4. Sorry. I'm saving it for my heirs.
5. If we are, then the planet is in big trouble.
XXXenophile when it comes out?
2. Is there a Magic: The Gathering movie
on the way?
3. Do you know the story around the
Magic computer game?
4. Will Rick Swan sell me that beat-up
Gauntlet of Might he was mourning about
in issue #5's "Swan Song"?
5. Are you guys the perfect human spec-
imens on the planet?
John Baird
Hubbardston, MA
1. Only if our moms will let us.
2. Not likely. Although it would be kinda cool
to see Tom Cruise in a Jester's Cap.
3. I called Kathy Sanguinetti, Microprose's
public relations manager, who explained why it's
been held up. "First, it was originally a DOS game.
Now it's Windows 95. Second, we added a new
element, a strategic-adventure setting by Sid
Meier [the guy behind the Civilization computer
game]. That took some time." Since Microprose
had it scheduled for a late summer release (though
we've heard that before), it ought to be avail-
able any day now. If not... well it's on the way.
For more info, check out the news story in "IQ
News" starting on page 15.
4. Sorry. I'm saving it for my heirs.
5. If we are, then the planet is in big trouble.
Boner Department
I love InQuest, read it regularly and wish I
could find somebody who'd buy my Gob-
lin King for nine bucks, but - and you knew
this was coming - you need to give your
copy editor a sound smacking about the
head and neck. Ish #13 is what I'm talking
about. I'm not an expert by any means, but
the combo on page 110 doesn't look like
